Introduction
In this essay, I will share my personal journey of intercultural communication through three significant experiences that have shaped my understanding of cross-cultural interactions. The experiences have pointed out certain aspects of intercultural communication: the intricately intertwined relationship of language and cultural expression, the dominance of traditional beliefs on the educational systems, and the tension between collectivist and individualistically oriented value systems across countries. All these experiences have expanded my outlook and shown me how cultural differences factor into our day-to-day life perspectives.
My personal history with intercultural communication has been difficult and enlightening. Living in Adelaide has taught me that knowing English is just the start. The real challenge is understanding why people act and think the way they do. For example, when I first got here, I kept saying, "Have you eaten?" to greet people because that's what we do in China. My Aussie friends would look at me funny, thinking I was actually asking about food! Now I get why - it's not just about different words but different ways of showing we care about each other.
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Experience 1
Language difference is the first experience of intercultural communication in my life. A nation's social culture has been influenced by lifestyle, values, and psychological characteristics for a long time. The cultural differences in language reflect the huge differences between Chinese and Western social cultures (Hou, 2011, p. 186). When I first came to Adelaide, I often made mistakes in language communication and understanding because of the grammatical differences between Chinese and Western languages. I'll never forget when I lost my phone at Rundle Mall. After frantically searching everywhere, I finally found it. When I told my Australian friend, she said, "Lucky dog!" I actually got angry at first - in China, calling someone a dog is really rude! It wasn't until later that I learned being called a "lucky dog" here is actually a good thing. Back home, we'd never use "dog" as a compliment. In fact, my Indian classmate told me it's the same in India - they even keep dogs away from weddings and temples! This whole mix-up showed me how even simple phrases can mean completely different things depending on where you're from.
For example, 'A cornered dog will lead over a wall,' 'To rally others because of one's master's power and position,' and other words are ironic. My Indian classmate told me that the status of a 'dog' in India is the same as that in China. Indians think it's one of the most unlucky animals in the world, so people keep dogs away from weddings, altars, and sacred places. But my Australian classmates told me that dog is more commendatory in the West. Because they are in a multicultural environment, students often have differences in language communication. Language is not only a carrier of culture but also a form of intercultural communication. Different languages are derived from different cultural backgrounds of different countries, and cultural diversity leads to differences in language in intercultural communication (Pu, 2012, p. 187).
In the process of intercultural communication, if language leaves the connotation of culture, it will become different (Kemmerer, 2019, p. 5). When I came to Adelaide, I found that the first sentence that people usually say when they meet is, 'Hi, how are you?' On the same occasion, Chinese people usually say, 'Have you eaten yet'? Or ask, 'Where are you going? ''Have you eaten?". In Western countries, if you use this kind of greeting, most Westerners will think that you are a violation of their private life. In Chinese culture, these greetings don't really require people to answer. People don't want to know what you ate or where you went in the morning. It's just a greeting. What Westerners hold is an independent self-concept, which is relatively independent. What Westerners hold is an independent self-view, which is relatively independent. Therefore, Westerners pay attention to personal privacy and independence in communication, always starting from the standpoint of individualism and emphasizing individuality (Pu, 2012, p. 188). However, Chinese people's dependent self-concept lacks relative stability and independence. This kind of self-concept thinks that life will be meaningful only if we put ourselves in the proper social relationship. Therefore, Chinese people like to disclose their private affairs without reservation when they communicate with others. It seems that only in this way can they show sincerity in communication with others (Pu, 2012, p. 188).
Language reflects the characteristics of a nation, and it contains the nation's attitude towards outlook on life, way of life, and way of thinking. With the development of globalization and the increase of cross-cultural communication activities, the encounter of different cultures will inevitably lead to conflicts. Culture and language are inseparable. It's funny - when I first came here, I thought knowing English grammar and vocabulary would be enough. But I quickly learned that speaking the same language doesn't mean we understand each other. When my Australian friend invited me for "coffee," - I thought we'd just grab a quick drink, but it turned out to be a long chat session. That's when I realized you need to understand the culture to really get what people mean, even when you know all the words they're using. Instead, we need to understand how cultural context shapes meaning and how different environments influence interpretation. This realization became even more apparent as I encountered another fascinating dimension of intercultural communication through my experiences in different educational settings, where I observed striking contrasts between Eastern and Western approaches to learning.
When I first arrived in Adelaide, the language barrier wasn't just about vocabulary or grammar - it was about understanding a whole new way of thinking. I remember my first week when I got lost trying to find the central market. Even though I knew the English words, asking for directions was challenging because I kept translating Chinese expressions directly into English, which often didn't make sense to locals. One local shop owner smiled kindly and said, "No worries!" - a phrase that confused me at first since I thought she was dismissing my concerns. It took me some time to understand that this was actually meant to be reassuring.
This experience made me realize how deeply culture influences our daily communication. Even simple greetings carry different cultural meanings. In China, when we meet someone, we often ask, "Have you eaten yet?" This reflects our cultural emphasis on food and caring for others. But when I used this greeting with my Australian classmates, they looked confused and thought I was actually inviting them for a meal. Through these small but meaningful intercultural communication experiences, I learned that successful communication requires understanding not just the words, but the cultural context behind them.
Experience 2
The second experience of cross-cultural communication is the difference between Chinese and Western students' classroom models. The education model in China is different from that in the West. In China, students have to raise their hands and stand up to answer questions in class. The most important thing is that students must abide by the discipline in class and not violate anything the teacher says. When I came to Australia, I found that in class, we could discuss problems as we liked, and teachers also encouraged students to speak actively during class discussions.
One day in my Marketing class, something happened that really showed me these differences. During a discussion about advertising strategies, I saw Australian students freely challenging our professor's viewpoint about social media marketing effectiveness. They shared their own experiences and even disagreed with the textbook examples! In China, this would be unthinkable - we see textbooks and professors as absolute authorities. At first, I felt uncomfortable, almost embarrassed for the students. But then I noticed how the professor encouraged this debate, asking, "Why do you think so?" and "What's your experience with this?" It was a completely different approach to learning than what I was used to. This experience of intercultural communication in education opened my eyes to how cultural values shape not just what we learn but how we learn.
I vividly remember my first seminar class in Adelaide. When the professor asked for opinions, I sat quietly, waiting to be called on, just as I had been taught to do in China. In my first marketing class, I couldn't believe what I was seeing - students just jumped into discussions without being called on, and some even told the professor they disagreed with his ideas about social media marketing! I remember sitting there, feeling really uncomfortable, thinking, "How can they talk to a teacher like that?" Where I'm from, we'd never challenge our professors. But after a few weeks, I saw how these debates made classes more interesting. Students shared their own experiences with different social media platforms, and even the professor seemed to enjoy hearing new perspectives. Now, I actually like this way of learning - it makes you think for yourself instead of just memorizing what the teacher says. Different cultural backgrounds lead to the differences between Chinese and Western education models.
In terms of cultural development background, the Chinese nation has been deeply influenced by Confucian culture for thousands of years and has always followed the principle of 'Honour the teacher and respect his teaching.' This idea is not only a cultural belief of most Chinese people but also a reverence for Confucian culture for thousands of years (Shao & Li, 2005, p. 26). The traditional Chinese culture, with Confucianism as its core, holds that there are differences in dignity and inferiority. This strong sense of hierarchy is also reflected in China's educational ideology, in which teachers are shaped like objects that students worship and cannot be looked down upon (Shao. & Li 2005, p. 27). The concept of hierarchy and authority in Chinese education has led to the gradual erosion of students' unique and critical thinking and has become rigid and blind. It can be said that Confucianism has influenced the national character, social psychology, and value orientation of China for thousands of years (Shao & Li, 2005, p. 27). However, it is this cultural belief that leads to the backward teaching mode in China. It imprisons students' thinking ability and hinders the development of their personalities. On the contrary, what is different from China is that what the West pursues is the educational idea of humanism.
In the process of education, teachers play the role of equal communication with students (Power 1991, P. 12). This humanistic education concept mainly emphasizes the education process itself, focuses on the cultivation of students' independent learning ability, gives them freedom, and stimulates their innovation ability (Power 1991, P. 12).
Historical background and national economy are also the reasons for this difference. The highly centralized feudal society occupies the main position in China's five-thousand-year history. This ideology directly leads to the fact that the old habit of modern Chinese people's obedience to authority and blind obedience to elders still exists, and the long-term autocracy of imperial power led to the unification of the teaching content of exam-oriented education in China and the evaluation standard was the score(Yang, 2012, p. 166). Coupled with China's long-term self-sufficient small-scale peasant economy, the Chinese people's laziness is intensified. In the process of learning, teachers tend to instill it unilaterally (Yang, 2012, p. 166). However, economic activities in Western countries are mainly commercial activities. Coupled with historical events such as the Renaissance, the Independence Movement, and the Industrial Revolution, freedom, democracy, and human rights have received further attention. (Power 1991, P. 10).
The historical and cultural background of the country and the historical development of the economy affect the formation and development process of the education model. In the process of this cultural exchange experience, I think intercultural is a multi-faceted exchange. In the process of communication, we can see the advantages and disadvantages of Chinese and Western educational models. For different educational models, the Chinese and Western should take the essence of each other and remove its dross.
While educational differences highlighted the formal aspects of intercultural communication, my next experience revealed how deeply cultural values influence even our most casual social interactions.
Experience 3
'Go Dutch' is my third experience with intercultural communication. Once, when I was checking out with my friend in Chinatown, I told her that it was my treat, but she did not like this and insisted on following ‘Go Dutch’ with me, which made me very embarrassed. At first, I was not used to 'Go Dutch,' but after living in Australia for a long time, I think 'Go Dutch' is a good way to pay. However, compared with the West, 'go Dutch' is not popular in China. Different values lead to different attitudes towards 'Go Dutch' between Chinese and Western people. As Chinese, we all know that very few people pay their bills when they check out with their friends or go out for dinner, which embarrasses both sides. China is a ceremonial state, and the concept of face is the main body of social communication culture in China (Kinnison, 2017, p. 33). There is an old Chinese saying: 'a man lives a face; a tree lives a skin.' A good face is closely related to personal identity and social status. It can make people feel a good sense of social self-worth (Croucher, Sommier & Rahmani 2015, P. 73). As a collectivist group, Chinese people pay attention to the harmony of interpersonal relationships and the role of groups in communication. A good face reflects the values characterized by group dependence. On the contrary, western culture pursues more individual independence, mainly emphasizing individual rights and values and forming the ‘individualism’ values with ‘individual freedom’ as the core. In terms of economy, western countries advocate that individuals should enjoy the greatest opportunity to obtain legal wealth and private ownership (Triandis 1988，p. 61).
My understanding of intercultural communication deepened further when I observed how collectivist and individualist values shape different perspectives on personal happiness and success. Back home in China, my parents always said, "Get good grades, get into a top university, and then you'll be happy." It's not just my family - all my friends hear the same thing. Our parents think happiness comes from having a successful career and making good money. And, of course, it's all tied to making the family proud.
But living here in Adelaide has really opened my eyes. Sure, family is important - I still call my parents every week and care what they think. But I've started wondering. Is getting straight A's and a high-paying job really what makes someone happy? I see my Aussie friends making choices based on what they love doing, not just what their parents want. Some study art, others work part-time while traveling - and their parents actually support these choices! It's so different from what I'm used to.
The pressure of filial piety and the expectation to be our parents' retirement security creates significant stress for many young Chinese people, myself included. Through intercultural exchanges, I've observed how Western cultures often approach happiness from a more individualistic perspective, emphasizing personal fulfillment and self-determination.
In Western societies, particularly in Britain and the United States, I've noticed how parents generally encourage their children to pursue their own definition of happiness. This cultural difference reflects a broader philosophical divide - while Chinese culture emphasizes collective harmony and family obligations, Western culture prioritizes individual autonomy and personal freedom. As Triandis (1988, p. 62) notes, this individualistic mindset has become deeply embedded in Western culture, shaping generations of thinking about personal identity and fulfillment.
These contrasting approaches to happiness and success have taught me that effective intercultural communication requires us to recognize and respect these fundamental differences in cultural values. Understanding these differences helps prevent misunderstandings and builds bridges between different cultural perspectives.
Conclusion
Through these three distinct intercultural communication experiences - language differences, educational models, and social values - I have gained a deeper understanding of how culture shapes every aspect of human interaction. Living in Adelaide has taught me so much more than just English. At first, I thought all those misunderstandings - like getting confused by "lucky dog" or feeling shocked when students argued with professors - were just because my English wasn't good enough. But now I see these moments differently. They showed me how our cultural background shapes everything - from the way we talk to how we learn and even what we think makes us happy.
These days, when I meet someone from a different culture, I try to understand not just what they're saying but why they're saying it that way. Sometimes, I still get things wrong, and that's okay. Each mix-up helps me learn something new. Coming from China to study here wasn't just about getting a degree - it's been about learning to see the world through different eyes. And you know what? That's probably the most valuable lesson I've learned so far.
Looking back on my journey of intercultural communication, I realize that each misunderstanding and awkward moment has been a valuable lesson. Whether it was learning that "no worries" meant reassurance rather than dismissal, adjusting to classroom debates instead of quiet note-taking, or understanding different views on social interactions - these experiences have shaped my understanding of how culture influences every aspect of our lives. As our world becomes increasingly connected, the ability to navigate these cultural differences with empathy and understanding becomes not just an academic skill but a crucial life competency.
References
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